Mada Mada Da Ne

I was scouring the internet for some interesting write-ups after having overdosed on online manga and fanfiction when I ran across the blog of an old “acquaintance.” I haven’t had any contact with this person in a few years and I really though that she had gotten a life so to speak. Upon reading her entry, I nearly choked with a mixture of annoyance and mirth. She was still the same unhappy, insensitive, and deeply arrogant soul, the way she was before she got hitched.

For the life of me, I could not understand what made her so bitter or so intent on blaming other people for her shortcomings. For one thing, she sincerely thinks that others envy her situation when in reality, they do not give a damn about her messed-up life. Another is, she keeps declaring that she’s “happy and contented” with her new life but ironically, she keeps conforming to what other people might say about her. In all respects, she was totally pathetic and reading her thoughts just confirmed the reasons why I severed my friendship with her.

The good thing about being married to a wonderful and understanding person and welcoming a new life into your home is that you can view these trivial things from a different perspective. Had I been my single self, I would have ranted and raved about the absolute crappiness of that person who, incidentally, was the very same individual who gave me so much headaches before owing to her selfish, jealous, and MALICIOUS nature. But now that I’m a mommy, I see this as a mere proof of the reality that those who cannot open their hearts fully and let compassion and love in can never be truly happy. In short, I am just an observer and taking life lessons from what I can see and observe.

My husband and I pledged that from the day I conceived Yan-Yan, she will be brought up in a world that does not hate, that does not envy, and that does not judge blindly. I am glad that I can re-assess my actions and beliefs each day by learning from the lives of others. I am also deeply happy that unlike my bitter acquaintance, I have anime beside me, shining the light down the right path. I am trying to bring Yan-Yan up with as much anime philosophies as I could manage, for I want her to be true to herself and to never give up even when things seem their darkest. I am also glad that my husband feels the same way.

With this, I can only look at the lonesome state of my acquaintance and pray for her reform. Malice lives in her heart and she has carried it to the heart of her offspring. It’s a sad thing that the new bud will still be covered with the sores of hatred and pride. Prophetically, she and her little one will never experience true happiness. To this day, I will say what I have always said to her:

Look deep inside your heart and realize what you have become.

Throw away your pride and hatred.

Accept your mistakes.

Do not run from the consequences of your mistakes.

BE HONORABLE.